Delirium Trigger
by kaylx
Summary: Set after Kaitin's bday party and before Summer finds out about Brown and Seth smoking pot. Seth is in for a real ass kicking. Drugs, alcohol and swearing may appear. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

This is by no means a serious, must put my best thoughts on the page kind of story. My grammar is some areas may be bogus and the structure of it may be weird. But this is my story and I don't give a ... okay. So I'm just going to right about how Seth's screws up. I'm sure it will get way serious later on an people might be mad, or happy. They might want to kill me. Or you may even just want to ask me for a box of tissues. I have some juicy 'shit' coming at ya. Enjoy.

(please excuse the absence of my other fanfics - im hooked on myspace)

**Chapter 1 **

After closing my bedroom window shut and spraying my new best friend – the air freshener, I threw myself onto my bed. "Dad…You were one lucky son of a bitch in Berkley." I mumbled, feeling the high of the joint. God, where have I been all these years…All of Holly's lame as parties that I thought were gay and stupid." I said out loud.

Sure, I had promised Ryan that it was just one joint, only one time that I could relax and unwind and forget about the Brown interview – If only I had gone to it in the first place, but that wasn't the point. Besides, what does Ryan know? I was only doing it alone because smoking weed was 'so last year', or whatever the year it was – I just wasn't there. This is my time to be free. Come clean, or get clean, whatever. I've found my cure and there will be no problems from now on. As long as I've have my weed.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, waking up the sleeping giant. "Oo0o…" I pulled it out and a picture of Summer was displayed. "Hey lovely." Lovely? – What, I was horny. Can you blame me?

"Uh, Seth? Lovely? Whatever. Okay, so I was just looking over Brown's courses and found the best course for us!"

"Uh huh…" I mumbled. I was in no mood to talk about Brown, or any school at the moment. "What course?" I asked.

"Outdoor adventure!" Summer shrieked. "I hate camping and all that outdoorsy stuff, we could have so much fun. Don't you think, Cohen?"

"I'll stick with my human sexuality course or hey, maybe they might have a course on just watching movies. I'd be up to that. You know how much I love the classics."

"Cohen, we agreed to try new things. This is definitely new and _adventurous_!" She emphasized. I bet I could find something more adventurous for us do to. "Unless you know, you want to take culinary arts or something like that."

"As in cooking?…Can we eat in that course? I like to eat. I'm hungry." My stomach rumbled and I realized that I was on the verge of starvation. I wonder if people in third world countries smoke a lot of weed, and if they do, do they get as hungry as I do? I'm sure they do, just…what would they eat if I ate all my leftovers when I was a kid? When I was a kid my mom would always tell me to eat my leftovers because starving people would not have anything to eat. Wait, does that mean I caused world hunger? My brain is in no capacity to think this way right now. It hurts.

"COHEN!"

"Ah, what?"

"God, daze off much? So, anyways, you ate like half of Kaitlin's birthday cake and not to mention all of those chili dogs that we _had_ to pick up on the way home. Explain to me how you are hungry?"

"Food. Hungry." I flipped my cell phone closed and ignored the vibration in my hand five seconds later. She loves me, I know it.

After clumsily rolling off my bed and landing on my ass, I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. "Peanut butter….I love you." I moaned, as I opened the fridge and retrieved a jar of jelly. I made my PJ sandwich and sat at the kitchen counter eating it and staring off into space.

"Seth." I jumped at my name and turned to see my dad, still in his work suit. "What are you doing up late?"

I raised my sandwich to world hunger and then continued eating it. "What brings you into the kitchen?"

"I was just in my office going through a few things." I could smell the alcohol on his breathe and the uneasiness in his voice. He's up to no good. "Oh, I forgot to ask you. How did the Brown interview go?" I shrugged, trying to ignore the whole incident all together. "After all that rehearsing with Ryan, that's all you have to say?" He laughed.

"It went great." I lied. "Brown, great, I mean…It was awesome. Turns out I really hit it off with the lady. I think I've got a chance. I may be that needle in the hay stack for Brown, just itching to make something of myself, you know. Can't wait." I mumbled. "Can't wait." I repeated, smiling.

"Good! That's good, Seth. I'm proud of you." My dad smiled at me and the worst feeling of guilt overwhelmed me. "Well, I'm off to bed. You should get to bed too. G'night."

"Night dad."

* * *

"You look like shit." Ryan pointed out in the car, as we drove to school.

"Thanks." I smirked.

"So, are you going to tell Summer about the Brown interview, or lack there of?" His asked me with the classic 'Atwood eye piercing straight into your skull - burning sensation' kind of way.

"Eventually I'm going to have to tell her."

"If you want my advice…I'd tell her this morning before she finds out and has a rage black out on you."

"Exactly how would she find out in the first place?" I asked. I'm not strong or anything, but I could so beat his ass if he opened his mouth to Summer.

"I'm not going to tell her, Seth." He pointed out. "Marissa knows and maybe it might slip, or maybe she might find out elsewhere."

"The only reason Marissa knows is because you told her."

"Seth, the only reason I told Marissa was because Kaitlin gave you weed." He explained, pulling up to an empty parking spot and parking the car. "You're done that, right?"

I nodded. "So last year, Ryan." I grabbed my bag and proceeded to walk up to the school with Ryan. "And I will tell Summer…When the time is right, okay?"

"Sure, Seth. Just don't wait to do it."

"Yeah, yeah." I laughed. I was screwed. How the hell was I going to tell Summer that I didn't go to the interview of my life? It was like telling her I decided to take up water polo.

"Okay, I'll see you at lunch." Ryan said and walked away.

I stopped in front of the school doors and turned around. I looked amongst the school yard, filled with blossoming flowers, jocks and plastic girls, and decided I was not ready for any of this right now. No classes. No Brown. Nothing. I shielded the sun from my eyes with my hand and walked over to the side of the Harbor 'A' building – an exclusive area meant only for make out sessions (not that I would know .. it was a lonely sophmore year here, okay?) – and sat down on the concrete.

I pulled out a joint from my bag, lit it up and then inhaled deeply, letting my whole body relax. The sound of death cab stated playing in my pants and I pulled out my cell phone.

"Hello?" I took another toke from my joint.

"Where the hell are you?" Summer yelled at me.

"Uh, I'm here, I'm at school."

"Ok great, Cohen. How about you get your ass to class. We have a test in like ten minutes and yesterday you said we'd meet before it to study, remember?"

"Of course I remembered. I'm on my way right now…I – I was just talking to, uh, Dave…You know Dave? That guy who has that …"

"Just get here, Cohen." She hung up.

I finished off my joint and stretched out. I had totally forgotten about the history test today. Or was it a midterm? Crap. A midterm.

I ran through the doors of the school, only to bump into Chad Cunningham.

"Beat it, queer." He shoved me.

Surprisingly, I held my ground and didn't fall to the ground. "I'm sorry, are you talking to me or your friend?" I asked politely.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, loser?"

"I know what I am, but what are you?" I laughed, shaking my head.

"What the fuck is this kid's problem?" Chad's friend asked, sizing me up.

"Kid?" I looked down at my chest and shook my head. "I don't remember children having hair on their chest. But you wouldn't know that would you, Chad. It's 'cause you shave your chest, which makes no sense. When you wax, cut or _whatever_ you do to your chest, all it does it grow back longer and faster. So, exactly what is the point of this whole water polo – no hair anywhere thing?"

Both Chad and his friend backed me up into a corner.

"It's getting a little close here guys." I held up my hands. "Please, people will see. Then they will all know that not only do you think I'm queer but you too want to find out your sexuality. I get it. You hit puberty a bit late."

Okay, so maybe that was a little too much. I got carried away a bit. Let's just skip this whole event and go straight to where they leave me in the hall with a fat lip and a few less scores in my self - confidence charting. I would feel more proud of myself. Thank you. Gracias.

"Ow." I groaned, touching my lip and wincing.

I collected my bag, which was thrown ten feet away from me and then walked straight into the middle of my history midterm. I have great timing.

"Mr. Cohen. Grab a test and take a seat. You have only forty minutes to complete this miderm."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"She's a disease, Ryan." I tried to explain to him, but of course he had no idea what I was saying. "You try to get rid of her, but you know that in the back of your head that she will never go away. Ever."

"What makes you think that?"

"You keep telling me about how Marissa is hanging out with Johnny and how much you hate this guys guts and that you want Marissa to make up her mind. All I'm saying, in my opinion, is that she's like the itch that you're never going to stop scratching, you know it's there and you know it feels so good to just itch it…the disease that just won't disappear completely. No matter what, she's there. And she's never going to go away."

We pulled up to the house and Ryan stopped the car.

Ryan shook his head. "An itch? A disease? I'm not telling you that I want to break up with Marissa. All I'm saying is…" He sighed and it was obvious he was totally confused. "I really don't know what I'm trying to say, really. I'm just sick and tired of Johnny."

"Forget him then." We got out of the SUV and made our way back to the poolhouse. "Forget everything, Ryan. This is our final year at Harbor. Let's embrace it! Let's have fun!" I could so use a joint right now.

Ryan frowned. "Embrace…Fun?"

I flopped down on his bed and threw a pillow at him. He was not happy. He threw it back at me.

"Yes, fun. You know, it's what people do to forget about everything. Let's have some fun."

"We're not watching anime or playing any videogame. I'm in no mood for any of that right now."

I opened my back pack and took out a baggy of weed and shook it. "Come on, Ry. Smoke a little. Have some fun."

"I thought you said you were done with that. And did you tell Summer about Brown yet?"

Oh God. Summer. She was royally pissed at me this morning for showing up late for the history exam and told me to call her later tonight.

"No I haven't and yes, I said I was over with this…" I waved the weed in his face. "But it helps me."

"Yeah, Seth. I'm sure it does. It helps you lose a few brain cells too."

"I'm smart anyway; I can afford to lose some." I took a joint out. "You'll like it."

"Seth, I've had weed before." He laughed at me.

"Right, of course you have. You're from Chino." I laughed. "And I am the only late bloomer you will ever meet. Humor me and split this joint with me."

Ryan sighed and looked outside the poolhouse' window.

"So, that's a yes?"

"We smoke in my bathroom. And just this once."

I giddily ran into the bathroom and started lighting the joint.

"Wait…" Ryan stopped me. He closed the door behind him and grabbed a towel off his rack to cover up the door. "Ever had a Jamaican shower?"

"Why? Do we shower differently than them?"

Ryan laughed and I felt like a total idiot.

"No. Here." He turned on the shower. "You have to make sure the shower is hot. It's going to make a lot of steam. We also have to block the vent. Take off your sweater."

"Um…"

"Trust me."

I took off my sweater and handed it to him. He then took off the vent, shoving my sweater in it and then closed it back up again.

It was getting hot in the bathroom already.

"You can light it now." Ryan said.

I lit the joint, taking a big puff and then handed it to him. Holy crap, I was starting to sweat like crazy. Ryan took a few tokes and handed the joint back to me and then rolled up his sleeves.

"It's freaking hot in here!" I said.

"That's the whole point, Seth."

I handed the joint back to Ryan and took a seat on top of the counter.

Ryan closed his eyes as he took a puff of the joint and exhaled slowly. "It's been awhile since I smoked a joint." He told me. "I used to smoke all the time with Trey and his buddies."

"Why don't you anymore?" I asked him.

Ryan shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it kind of interfered with everything." He took another drag and passed it to me. "Once you smoke pot and drink a fifty, you're an Atwood…That's what Trey always told me. I guess I just didn't want to be an Atwood anymore."

"Makes sense." I don't think I've ever heard Ryan really talk about his family before. Sure, he mentioned them from time to time, but he never _really_ talked about them. In some ways, I wanted to know more about him. I've never known someone who was so interesting like him before. He wasn't a Newpsie.

Ryan laughed, "Pass it over."

I passed it to over him, and started to feel really light headed. I closed my eyes for a split second and the next thing I know, Ryan opened the door to the bathroom and left. I took another toke of the joint and closed my eyes. When I opened them again, Ryan was there and the bathroom door was closed.

Ryan laughed, "Pass it over."

"Déjà vu!" I laughed and jumped off the counter, passing it back to him.

"Want anymore?" He offered.

"Nah, you finish it. I've got the best high going on right now." I laughed. Ryan finished the joint and I opened the door.

We both crashed on his bed and started laughing.

"Jamaican showers are fun. Maybe I should hook up with a Jamaican girl. But then again, they don't shave…anything."

Ryan laughed. "That and Summer will kill you."

I did not want to think about Summer right now. Summer makes me think of Brown. Brown makes me think of…Well, life in general and how much I've fucked myself over so far.

"I wonder if your dad still has his bong from college." Ryan asked.

I laughed at him. "I thought you said this was only going to be a one time only relaxing kind of thing?"

He shrugged and rolled off the bed. "Who's going to teach anything about smoking pot?" He did have a point there. "And you have to promise me to leave the pot to the weekends only, okay?"

I looked passed him and at a painting that was hung on the poolhouse wall. I remember the day my mom had brought it home. She said it reminded her of the time she had spent in New York with my dad. I bet they smoked pot the whole entire time there, 'cause that was a real fucked up painting.

"Seth…Space cadet?" Ryan yelled at me.

"Huh?"

"Weekend only, K?"

I waved him off. "Yeah, yeah." I laughed and walked over to the painting and took a close look at it. The colors were closely blended, especially the smoggy sun rise in the background. I took my finger and traced the horizon. "I've never really looked carefully at this painting before now."

Ryan walked up to me and looked at it. "What's so great about it?"

"Nothing. It's just peaceful and beautiful."

He laughed. "It's New York. Go there and tell me that it's peaceful."

"How would you know? You've never been there."

"Neither have you." He shot back at me.

I laughed and walked away from the painting. I had the sudden urge to make a painting myself. I grabbed my school bag, "I've got some stuff to do." I said and left.

* * *

I put down my black brush, sat back in my chair and admired the drawing in front of me. It was a painting of Summer and I sitting on the beach watching the waves crash in on the shore. Our bodies entwined in each others grip. A grip that I hope will never seize.

There was a knock at my door and my dad walked in.

"Hey Seth." He said, strolling in. I have no privacy these days.

I turned my back from the painting, "What's up?"

"Dinner's in five minutes."

"Okay, thanks." I swiveled back to my painting, but my dad wasn't leaving. "Anything else?" I asked, impatiently.

He sat on my bed and picked up Captain Oats. "You used to carry this horse around everywhere." He said, laughing. "You even took bubble baths with him."

"Dad, thanks for reminding." Another mental picutre I will never forget.

This father son thing going on here was started to creep me out. "Is there…anything else?" I asked him.

"Your guidance counselor called me today, Seth."

I hesitated, "Oh." I said nodding. "Good things, I'm assuming?"

My dad put Captain Oats back down on my night table. "She wanted to know where you were for the Brown interview."

"Yeah…That." I scratched the back of my neck and sighed.

"Is it you don't want to go to Brown anymore, Seth? You know, you can get into Berkley if you still want to. Just give me the go and it's set, son."

"No. No, it's not that, Dad."

"Then why didn't you go to your Brown interview? I thought you were so happy to get that interview. You stayed up practically all night for three days pumping yourself up for it."

I can't explain myself to him. Even if I were to try to, I wouldn't even be able to get the words out myself. I don't know what I want to do anymore.

I shrugged. "I'll go see my guidance counselor tomorrow and I'll talk to her, okay? I'll figure it out then."

"Is everything okay? Is it that you don't want to do the whole college thing anymore?" He pressed.

"No, it's not that dad." I stood up and opened my door. "I've got some homework to do." I lied.

"Promise me you'll talk to your guidance counselor. Time is running out."

"Yeah, yeah." I rushed him out and shut the door behind him. I sighed and walked over to my desk. I opened my drawer and pulled out a joint, while looking at my painting.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Oh shit. I'm dead. Maybe it's not too late to start praying to Jesus and Moses.

"Cohen!" Summer slapped me over the head. "Why didn't you call me last night?" She demanded.

I grabbed my Biology book and closed my locker. "I was…uh, at an appointment. You know, with Dr. Shrimper-…erus." I smiled at her. Summer whacked me over the head again and threw her hands on her hip. "Ow." I rubbed my head. "Now I know what's been causing these massive headaches."

"Liar. You forgot!"

"I'm playing hard to get. Sue me."

"That's my job, Cohen."

"Right you are." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. "And might I add, you're doing a splendid job at it?"

"Whatever." She sighed. "So, tonight are you still coming?"

"Yeah…tonight…of course. Wouldn't miss it." I baffled on. Where? No idea. Not a clue. I believe now is the right time to start praying.

"Oh and please, wear something nice." The bell rang and Summer kissed me on the cheek. "See you at lunch."

"Wait!" I stopped her. "Something nice? What's that supposed to me?" I asked.

"Don't look like the dork you are, Cohen. I love it, but my dad already thinks you're a little _coo-coo_."

"Right, dinner with your dad tonight. Wear something nice. Got it. I'll wear my best suit, though maybe my third best suit." I explained to her. "I don't want you ruining my _best_ suit for when you have the sudden urge to rip it off and have wild sex with me on your dinner table."

Summer shook her head and walked away.

"I mean it Summer!" I shouted out to her. "No sex in the champagne room!"

"Mr. Cohen, get to class!" Dr. Kim ordered, walking out of her office.

Summer turned the corner and I grinned at Dr. Kim. "Chris Rock. You gotta love him."

"To class, Mr. Cohen."

I nodded and scurried off to my Biology class.

I took my seat and opened my Biology book. It was only ten seconds later until I heard _the_ voice.

"Hi Seth." Taylor smiled at me and then took a seat next to me. "So, Seth, I was thinking that for our project we should do sex-linked genes and disorders."

"Oh, uh, I'm actually partnered up with Yane."

Taylor laughed. "You mean, the weird Chinese guy that sits in the back of the class and doesn't know how to speak English properly?" I smiled and nodded. "No worries. I asked Mr. Sanders if we could be paired up. Yane's with someone else now. So should we go for the sex-linked genes and disorders?"

"Well, actually I was kind of thinking of going more on something about bacteria...Flesh eating disorder." I explained to her. "Maybe, uh, maybe cannibalism."

Taylor laughed, reached forward and touched my knee. "You're so funny, Seth. Well, even if you wanted to do something else, it won't happen because I already told the teacher we were doing sex-linked genes and disorders."

"Great." I forced a smile and turned back to my biology book. Summer is going to kill me. Sure, Taylor had confessed and told Summer she was no longer in love with me. But she did touch my knee and she does want to talk sex with me. In some ways or another. Sex is sex. We all know that.

Class started and before I knew it, the day had passed by very quickly. I was now in my last period – History with Ryan, thank god, and we were sitting next to each other.

History is over. This is boring. I ripped a piece of paper out from my binder and wrote down, 'Kill me.' I then passed it over to Ryan.

Ryan shook his head and wrote something down. I looked at the paper and it said, '1380 seconds left. Relax'. I scribbled down, 'I need more weed at this rate', then passed it back to him and he laughed quietly. 1320 seconds left, I calculated in my head. I haven't had a joint for over 16 hours now and it was killing me. When did I become so addicted to weed? I didn't know weed was addictive. Maybe there was some kind of chemical in it, like tobacco or cocaine. No not cocaine. I would be too fucked up smoking weed laced with cocaine. But then again, how would I know, I've never tried cocaine…not that I would ever try it. Ever.

"Mr. Cohen!" The teacher yelled at me.

I awoke from my thoughts. "Huh?" Everyone laughed and Ryan shook his head.

"The answer, Mr. Cohen is…?" Ms. Angler waited.

The answer is, I have no idea if weed is addictive or not. And I've come to the conclusion that I will never try cocaine.

"Yes. The answer is yes." I said, proudly.

"Yes?" She questioned, getting frustrated now.

"Yes…" I looked down at my notes, "The great depression…" I looked up, "Was a very depressing time, uh, in the, um…great depression."

"Not working, Seth." Ryan mumbled.

"Mr. Cohen, you can take the great depression," And shove it up my ass? "And wait for me outside the classroom." Holy shit, this is my first time getting kicked out of class. Well, besides the time in preschool where I glued my hands together.

I got out of my seat and made my way out of the classroom, where I then waited for Ms. Angler.

"Read pages 458 – 511." I heard Ms. Angler say. She then walked out of the classroom and closed the door behind her. "Seth Cohen, do we have a problem?"

I shook my head. "No problem. I wasn't listening and I apologize." I said, genuinely.

Ms. Angler folded her arms over her chest. "I hate to tell you, but I'm afraid you're a little behind in class. We're on Japanese-American Internment: The Bill of Rights in Crisis."

I nodded. Of course we are.

"But if you insist on talking about the great depression, I wouldn't mind a paper on it in my mail box tomorrow morning."

So, I dug a hole with a K-Mart pre-school shovel – and it was pink. How the hell am I going to find time to write a paper on some stupid event in _history_ and go to Summer's for dinner? I'm a super hero.

I nodded.

"Good."

After Ms. Angler left me high and dry in the hallway, I walked back into class and took a seat.

* * *

"Twenty bucks?" I pleaded. Ryan shook his head. "Okay, thirty and I'll throw in a pack of hubabuba bubble gum."

"No, Seth. I'm doing your essay. You're lazy."

Okay, so maybe I'm not a super hero, but I'm sure that for a moment you thought I was. And that my friends, is what really counts.

"Fifty?" I got down on my knees. For the love of God…and me.

"You just had to talk about the great depression!"

I jumped up. "Dude, is that a yes. You'll do it?"

Ryan shrugged. "As long as the fifty comes with the gum."

"Deal!" I opened my wallet and gave him a fifty. "And the gum is in the kitchen. Mom keeps some in the fridge."

Ryan punched my arm.

"Weird, I know." I rubbed my arm. "Mom loves it cold."

"Okay, now get out." He ordered, opening the poolhouse door.


End file.
